As children enter their teen years, they begin to have more interest in dating, and many become sexually intimate with a partner. Almost half of adolescents will have had sexual intercourse by 10th grade. And by 12th grade, 61 children out of 100 have had sexual intercourse.¹ Talking about sex can be awkward, but the earlier you start the discussion, the better prepared your child will be to make safer decisions about it.

Talking to your son or daughter about sex

Whether they are sexually active or not, children need help to make responsible choices about sex. Talking about sex does not encourage sexual activity in children. Some studies show that talking openly and honestly about sex can prevent teenage pregnancy.² Having an open, honest relationship with your child will largely depend on the quality of the relationship you have built to this point.

The best time to begin the discussion about sex is when your child is in elementary school. A good way to start is to admit that talking about sex may be awkward, but that your child should not ever be afraid to ask you questions. Discussing sex and sexuality with your child is not a one-time conversation, however. As he or she grows and matures, your child naturally has questions about sexuality. The more you can give guidance, the better prepared your child will be to make responsible decisions.

If you are unsure of how to begin such a conversation, use everyday situations as an icebreaker. Use examples on TV or another teen's pregnancy to start a discussion about sex and dating. If you wait for others-friends, school staff, or another adult-to address sex, you do your child a disservice.

Your local library, church or synagogue, or organizations such as Planned Parenthood will have information to help you talk to your kids about sex and family life issues. Planned Parenthood and other groups offer counseling and classes you can take with your child to discuss sex, dating, and other important issues.

Be aware that children have easy access to many Web sites with sexual or pornographic content. Keep the computer in a shared area where you can see what your child is doing online.

Discussing contraception

Talking about condoms and other forms of contraception is often based on family values and attitudes. Nevertheless, it's essential to make sure your child understands how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), how pregnancy occurs, and how to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, be it by abstinence or the use of condoms and other birth control methods.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends several strategies to help prevent unplanned pregnancy. The AAP supports having programs in place that help children delay becoming sexually active. The AAP also recommends that children learn about contraceptive methods and be able to get them easily. This includes emergency contraception methods.³

Defining sex