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11 "Don't-Tell-the-Husband" Secrets All Wives Keep

4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man."

We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most butt-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacation-when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe.

"I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous things-especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am."

5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.

You know how we're always telling you things like, "Oh yeah, you're definitely the biggest I've ever had" or "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamo-we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times better-because it's you, and you're the one we really want.

6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers.

We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother."
But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spines-did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway.

7. We want you to be jealous-but just a little bit.

We want you to notice-and care!-when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworker-good. Punching him out-very, very bad.

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