The 7 Steps to Happily Ever After
Step 5: Find a balance between time for two and time for you.
Jonathan and I both work at home. This frequently leads to murderous
impulses. Though I'm typing away in the bedroom and he's talking to his
consulting clients in our small home office, most days it really feels like too
much intimacy for me.
But that's my bias. When it comes to togetherness, every couple has its own
unique sweet spot. "There are couples that are never apart and there are
couples that see each other only on weekends," Greer says. With the right
balance, neither partner feels slighted or smothered. You have enough
non-shared experiences to fire you up and help you maintain a sense of yourself
outside the relationship — not to mention give you something to talk about at
the dinner table. But you also have enough time together to feel your
connection as a strong tie rather than as a loose thread.
Your togetherness needs will also change over time, so you'll have to shift
your balance accordingly. "My husband and I spend a lot of time together,
but it's almost all family time," says Katie, 40, a mom of two in San
Leandro, CA. "We realized a few months ago that we hadn't had a
conversation that didn't involve the kids or our to-do lists in ages, so we
committed to a weekly date. We were so happy just to go to the movies and hold
hands, something we hadn't done in ages. It felt like we were dating