8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage
8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of. continued...
I'd like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few
months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the
truth. After years of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends
and the best sister a girl could ever have, I've come to recognize certain
things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I've had to examine
my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up
to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how
I approach my marriage.
I still struggle as a work in progress. But I am completely clear in the
knowledge that many of the deepest frustrations in your relationship are an
opportunity for you to confront yourself. That can be difficult to accept —
after all, it's so much more comforting to keep a running tab of your hubby's
deficits and tell yourself that his failings are the only thing standing
between you and a better marriage. But if you let it, this bumpy journey toward
self-awareness can be one of the more fulfilling rewards of a committed,
long-term relationship — you'll learn to love your quirks and be compassionate
toward yourself, just as you're learning to do with him.
That's the strange beauty of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard
lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the
things that give richness to your life together — and make your love even
deeper and stronger than when it began.
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