Maureen Kenny and Charles Winick knew they wanted a baby but never imagined
they would have three at once. "Each has special qualities and quirks that
are endearing, yet, together, they form a threesome that is so adorable,"
Kenny says. "I can't imagine life without them."
But doesn't having 10-month-old triplets wreak havoc on a marriage? Not
according to Kenny. "It has brought us closer together," she tells
WebMD. "We love to talk about the babies and what is happening with them.
We plan for their future and look forward to spending time together with
By Keith Ablow, M.D.
Rekindling Passion For The Husband You Still Love
People sometimes tell me they know a couple married 20 years whose sex life
is still as good as it ever was. Here's what I tell them in return: "There
are only three possibilities. One: This couple is lying. Two: They are telling
the truth, because they didn't have good sex to begin with. Or three: Sex is
all they really have together. They never connected emotionally."
I've drawn that conclusion by listening...
"It has given us a common task," Winick says. "My wife and I
have similar views about raising children, so we have formed a nice
partnership. We help each other to stay consistent with the decisions that we
have made about raising children."
Whether a new baby brings spouses closer together or drives them apart has a
lot to do with the pre-baby relationship, says Jerrold Lee Shapiro, PhD, a
clinical psychologist and chairman of the department of counseling psychology
at Santa Clara University in California.
"Having a child intensifies everything in a relationship," he tells
"With the arrival of a first child, everything good in a marriage gets
better, everything bad gets worse. A couple that has good intimacy will find a
lot more to share, more experiences to get excited about together. A couple
that has a lot of distance will find that a child becomes a wedge."
Spending quality time with your partner before the baby arrives can put you
on the right track.
To stay there, Shapiro says it's crucial to recognize that your role as a
spouse doesn't disappear when you become a parent -- rather, it becomes even
"The very best thing you can give your child is a good relationship with
your partner. It provides security, an example of how people get along and how
to deal with conflict ... things that are good for a child to see."
But a good relationship requires time and intimacy -- elusive commodities
for new parents. "There is much less time for us as a couple," Kenny
says. "We have only been out without [the triplets] about three times since
Psychologist Arthur Kovacs, PhD, recommends setting aside at least a few
hours of couple time every week, "even if you have to schedule it."
This time does not have to involve anything fancy -- taking a walk, eating
dinner together, or meeting up with friends can help you and your partner
reconnect throughout the week. Make plans that are easy, so you'll be more
likely to keep them.
"My husband and I are making an effort to get out more with friends or
have people over to socialize," Kenny says. "Having people over to our
house is best for us, as the babies have all the stuff they need."