Brides and Grooms: Cold Feet

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Look Downrange: Ask yourself if you're anxious about the big day—the money, the relatives, the planning—or about the rest of your life. Find the real source of your anxiety.

Open Up: "Talk to people in happy marriages," Safier says. "Ask them if it's normal to feel this way. But most important: talk to your partner. Once the ring is on the finger people feel the conversation is closed but it's not."

Pen to Paper: "Write down all your crazy thoughts," Moir-Smith says, "and look at them later with a cool head." Sometimes thoughts you're not aware of come to the surface. For example, if you can envision having an affair in a few years, you've got a problem.

Under the Weather: "Before my wedding, I had migraines and I caught every cold under the sun," Safier says. When disaster is imminent, "people feel physical pain, like something is rattling the cage from the inside telling them something is wrong." So listen to your body.

Don't be scared to head for the hills if it feels like the right thing to do. Embarrassment and wasted expenses—common excuses for ignoring frosty tootsies—are a small price to pay when avoiding a breakup down the road. But if you know you're on the right path, work through your anxieties and you can enjoy your day in the sun.

Originally published on February 26, 2007