Nov. 26, 2001 -- When baby boomer girls were 12 or so, their mothers would hand over a little booklet called ""Becoming a Woman,"" which covered the basics of sex and menstruation. A couple of days later the mother would ask if her daughter had any questions. Typically, the embarrassed girl would say no, and that was the end of her at-home sex education.
There was a boys' version, too: A father-to-son talk along the lines of, "Don't get any girl pregnant before you can support a wife and family." And there were the horror stories, including a 13-year-old girl whose mom waited too long to have "The Talk," and poor Sandy started her period without knowing what it was. After three days of bleeding -- and thinking she was dying -- she finally went to her mother.
By Lindsey Palmer Can taking a break from making love actually improve your sex life? Sex therapist and REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., proposes just that in his new book, Sex Detox. Here, Kerner explains how it works:
Later, as part of health class in the ninth and tenth grades, baby-boomer teen-agers were segregated by gender and told to label diagrams of the inner workings of the male and female reproductive systems, learning lots of useless, but impressive details like just how many miles of tubing are crammed into a man's testicles. They also watched an endless parade of black-and-white movies on the horrors of venereal disease, but they never discussed the really burning question of adolescence: Should they or should they not "do it?"
It's not surprising that today's parents, who had this kind of experience at home, often find it difficult to talk to their own children about sex. "I do think it is hard for us as parents, because we did not have parents who spoke to us with relative ease on this subject, if at all," says Karen Hoskins, an Oregon mother of three. "I have just tried to be as honest as I can, and keep any embarrassing thoughts in the back of my mind. I want them to see my honesty and remember it, and then hope they will come to me when they need to ask something."
So What's a Parent to Do?
Most experts agree that parents shouldn't wait for some magical moment to have their own version of The Talk. Sex education goes down better if it is a part of life, starting whenever your child is old enough to ask questions.