Dr. Phil & Robin's Do-It-Yourself Marriage Makeover
Problem 4: Kids Who Won't Listen continued...
Robin: This is going to sound old-fashioned, but there are certain things
that a father is going to understand better and certain things a mother is
going to understand better, and you should respect that. I remember one time,
Jay was still little and he said he wanted to quit a sports team he was on. I
thought, Well, that sounds fine — he's still young and he's going to try lots
of different sports and he'll figure out what works best. But I mentioned it to
Phillip and right away he said, "No! That's not what you do — if you commit
to a team, you stay on the team. A boy should stick to his commitments and not
let his team down."
Dr. Phil: And when the boys started dating, you were there to tell them how
a girl wants to be treated. For instance, the day of a dance....
Robin: I always told the boys to call their date the morning of the dance,
just to tell her how excited they were about seeing her that night. And to
always find out what she was wearing, what color, so they could get the right
Dr. Phil: They would roll their eyes at me and say, "Dad, do I really
have to call her? I'm going to see her in a few hours, do I have to talk to her
on the phone and act all excited?" And I'd say, "Listen to your mother.
Go ahead and do it."
You have to come together on this. And more than anything else, don't make
someone else the heavy. No one should ever say, "Wait until your father
gets home," or "Wait until I tell your mother what you did." That
is just so unfair. Don't make your partner the villain — or yourself the saint
either, where you're saying, "I'd get you the puppy, but Daddy would be
mad." It's unfair to throw the other parent under the bus because you don't
have the guts to jointly own the decision.
Problem 5: Career Concerns
Dr. Phil: Obviously, a lot has been said about the guilt some stay-at-home
moms feel — how they wrongly say things like, "I'm just a housewife,"
or "I'm just a mom," when, clearly, that's so false: The work a
stay-at-home mom does in caring for a family and a home is tremendous and
exhausting and awe-inspiring. It's the toughest job I know, because you start
early and you work late 365 days a year. You couldn't pay me enough to do that
But women who return to the workplace often feel hugely guilty, too, and
that can put a lot of strain on a marriage, especially if her spouse is sitting
there feeling resentful that she has a life outside of her home and her