Get Sexier — Without Sex!
By Lindsey Palmer
Can taking a break from making love actually improve your sex life? Sex therapist and REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., proposes just that in his new book, Sex Detox. Here, Kerner explains how it works:
Why take a sex detox?
Sometimes you have to take sex off the table to understand the problems it might be masking in your relationship. If you're having sex because you feel obligated to, faking orgasm, or tuning out because you're uninterested, it can be useful to take a break to find out why that's going on.
How do you do it?
Each day during the 30-day detox, you do a different activity, reading, or reflection to explore the many things that can affect your sex life. You might look at old family photos to learn how affection played a role in your childhood, or you might examine your overall health. Ideally, a couple detoxes together, but you can do it on your own too — and often if you make positive changes, your partner will follow.
What can you get from a detox?
A broader understanding of what's going on in the bedroom and how it affects your relationship, and vice versa. You'll feel more connected and better equipped to communicate. And even if you don't make it through all 30 days sex-free, the break-the-rules sex you'll have will probably be pretty hot — and that's not such a bad result either.
Originally published on January 16, 2008
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