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How to Have Just-Met Sex

Take Sex Off the Table

Maybe you had a three-date rule or a one-month rule, or maybe you waited until you were committed or married. In any event, when you first got together, sex wasn't necessarily assumed. As a result, you probably spent a lot of time exploring all of the other ways to have fun without intercourse. And because that was all you were doing, it made the kissing and groping and fondling that much hotter. You can get back that urgency by instituting a temporary sex ban for a week, two weeks, a month — whatever feels like a long wait to you.

Of course, you'll have to get your partner on board. "Tell him that you want to have fun with all that making out and foreplay you did so much of back in the day. But, in order to do so, you have to take oral sex and intercourse off the table for a little while," says Brame. "Explain that the act of not having sex will make the sex even more intense and passionate when you finally do have it again." Plus, you'll be finding creative new ways to please each other. You can heighten the sexual anticipation by sending each other saucy emails or text messages, or talking about all the things you can't wait to do once the sex ban is lifted.

"My husband and I have a great sex life, but recently, I felt like we weren't spending enough time on foreplay," says Sloane, 33, a human resources manager from Boston. "So I told him I wanted to bring back the whole idea of having make-out sessions — just lying on the couch or in bed, kissing and touching each other, but without it leading to actual sex. At first he kind of balked, but once we started trying it, we both remembered how hot it was to tease each other like that." Not only does holding back actually increase your desire for sex, but it also re-creates those early days of your sexual relationship — when all you two could think about was finally, finally getting each other into bed.


Originally published on December 23, 2008


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