By Lindsey PalmerIn case you had any doubt that taking charge can improve your sex life, now
For women, being less passive in bed is associated with increased sexual
satisfaction and a better ability to reach the big O, says a recent study in
the journal Personal Relationships. Too shy to bust out in the bedroom?
Sex expert Emma Taylor (a.k.a. Em), coauthor (with Lorelei Sharkey, a.k.a. Lo)
of Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped, offers
these tips for bashful...
Used to be, you'd have to ride out your curiosity about whether
this guy or gal is The One. You'd bide your time, look for little clues (Does
he talk about you favorably with the old married friends who fixed you up? Does
she invite you along to family parties, or say you'd just be bored?).
That's so 90s. These days, predicting the success of
relationships has become less of a gut instinct related to whether you both
drool over shrimp scampi, or the same web sites. If you want to know whether
you're headed into a long, happy union, or destined to part, let go of those
romantic, old-fashioned notions and take a long, hard look at the
science of your relationship.
More science, less crystal ball
While you've been fussing over what to wear, whether to comb
over the bald spot, and whether those dating rulebooks deserve any attention, a
new breed of relationship experts has been watching. Maybe they aren't watching
you and your string of never-to-be-seen-again dates, but they've been eyeing
plenty of other newly coupled couples, or those hoping to become couples,
trying to predict who is well matched and who's not.
And now, they've got some answers. Indeed, so sure are some of
these researchers about the science of predicting relationship success, they
teach it to other therapists for use in premarital or couples counseling
sessions. But anyone wondering if Mr. or Ms. Great Date will become Mr. or Ms.
Great Mate can make use of the information they have uncovered, and draw some
conclusions on their own.