By Charlotte Latvala
Sick of bickering? Keep the peace (and get even closer) with these
After seven years of marriage, my husband and I have arguing down to an
exact science. We choose from Argument A (who screwed up the checkbook?),
Argument B (whose method of disciplining the kids is better?) and Argument C
(whose turn is it to take out the trash?). We're still fighting about the same
things we fought about years ago, but the bickering takes up less time; I
"Maybe he got back together with his ex," one friend piped in.
"Maybe he was too intimidated by you," another said. "Maybe you
should call him," offered another. "Maybe he's gay," suggested yet
Or maybe ... he's just not that into you. Sure, these words sound harsh, but
according to a best-selling new dating book, these six words can save women
like Susan from a lifetime of heartache and stress.
Ever since talk show host Oprah Winfrey featured the book, He's Just Not
That Into You, on an episode of the Oprah show, it's been flying off of
book shelves and racing up the best-seller list. Its contents are discussed by
single women and their dating friends everywhere. Written by former Sex and the
City writer Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, this book debunks many of the myths
that women create about men and dating.
The bottom line is that men are not complicated and there are no mixed
messages. If he doesn't ask you out, call you soon after a date, or want to
come inside with you after a date, then he's just not that into you.
This new catchphrase actually started on an episode of Sex and the City when
Miranda (played by actress Cynthia Nixon) tells her friends that her latest
crush ended their last date with two kisses at her door but declined an
invitation inside. His reason: He said he had an early morning appointment.
Reasonable, said her friends, but then the only male at the table said ...
"He's just not that into you."
The Truth Shall Set You Free?
"Coming up with reasons that he might not have called that are not
critical of you is a natural defense mechanism," says New York City
psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, MD, author of Becoming Real: Defeating the
Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back.