Managing Marriage and Money Problems
Experts offer tips for investing in your marriage so you can worry less about your money.
Scenario 3: When Women Are the Breadwinners
"We live in an age where women are catching up to the men," says Harley. "In
almost one-third of dual-income families, it's the woman that's the
While for decades women have fought for pay equality, now that the fairer sex
has caught up, many aren't happy with their success.
"In a significant amount of couples I see in my practice where the woman makes
more than the man, the woman isn't happy," says Harley. "She feels used, like
she is responsible for everything."
It gets even more complicated when a woman goes off to work, and the man stays
home as Mr. Mom. Many women aren't happy with this scenario, feeling
shortchanged in their roles as mothers even though they're succeeding in their
careers, says Harley.
Being a businesswoman -- and wife and mom when the workday is done -- is a
heavy load that can create marriage and money problems for everyone
"It's always hard to be the one that is not earning the most money, but it's
particularly hard for most men," says Berman, author of the A to Z Guide to
Raising Happy, Confident Kids. "Men feel a cultural pressure to earn more
money, and it can create issues in both directions -- from the husband to the
wife and the wife to the husband -- when the woman is the breadwinner."
In this case, Berman suggests enlisting the help of both a financial planner
and a marriage counselor. The couple should also set up equal spending
rights, within reason and means, for each person.
"Have a clear-cut budget you both agree on, so everyone has some fun money to
spend," says Berman. "If couples create a budget where no one can spend, it's
not going to work."
Scenario 4: Keeping Up With the Joneses
"We are a country that has become accustomed to debt," Berman tells WebMD.
"We judge one another by what we have and don't have, so couples feel pressure
to buy things they can't afford as they keep up with the Joneses."
The stress of owing and debt can cause money problems in your marriage, she
explains. As a couple spends and spends, with no regard for their mounting
debt, it's the marriage that suffers.