Marriage Prep 101
From the burning questions you should ask each other before you walk down the aisle, to the jitters and cold feet, here’s a crash course in building a marriage that can last a lifetime.
From Jitters to Cold Feet continued...
While the jitters are relatively normal, one step up on the ladder of
wedding anxiety are cold feet -- a phrase that sends chills down the spines of
pending brides and grooms everywhere. How do you tell the difference
between the jitters and cold feet?
“One sign is that you are really picking your fiancé apart and are
hypercritical of him or her all the time,” says Moir-Smith. “While you might
not be ready to call the wedding off, having cold feet means it’s time to do
some emotional work around getting married.”
Therapy and some serious one-on-one time with your spouse-to-be are both
smart choices; sifting through your thoughts and concerns is the only way to
make it to the altar in one piece. But if still doesn’t feel right, calling it
off can be the right decision, even if it’s last-minute.
“If you’re going to call off a wedding, the sooner the better,” says
Moir-Smith. “It’s far better to call off a wedding than get divorced, and while
it will be painful, everyone will be better off in the long run.”
Whether it’s surviving the hard discussions on kids, religion, and money, or
getting through the jitters and overcoming cold feet, experts give WebMD some
seemingly simple but powerful tips on making a marriage work that every couple
should keep in mind:
Start at the beginning. “Brides and grooms expect themselves to know
how to be married to each other,” says Moir-Smith. “But they should allow
themselves to be a beginner at being married and not compare themselves to
their parents who have been married for 30 years.”
Love your spouse and your life. “There is a big difference between
loving someone and making a life together you both love,” says Piver. “One
without the other is no good.”
Look before you leap. “Always date for one year before you make a
proposal before marriage,” says Weston. “You need to see how the other
person behaves 365 days of the year -- birthdays, deaths, Thanksgiving, etc.
You learn how they treat these events and treat you before, during, and after
they occur. Give relationship a full four seasons before you think about
Don’t forget the checklist of life. “A wedding may last a weekend,
but a marriage may last you a lifetime,” says Weston. “Give issues like kids,
religion, money, and sex proportional attention before you get