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Nip Infidelity in the Bud

Here are 7 signs your mate may be thinking of straying.

Marriage Saving Solution: Confrontation

"Obviously you have to confront a person and say, 'What's going on here?'" she says. "Once a person has been found out, they must 'fess up and that can be the first step in rebuilding trust," she says. While not necessarily advising it, Praver says people can check call logs on cell phones to see if there really is fire where there is smoke.

Red Flag No. 7: History Repeats Itself

"Sometimes people with a background of these types of things may be more likely to repeat them," Van Epp says. "There are exceptions and people can change patterns in their life, but if we are talking about red flags, history is a red flag."

Marriage Saving Solution: Set Boundaries

"It may be more up to the individual to set strong boundaries in these cases," he says. "You can't necessarily protect your spouse from having an affair, but you can come to an agreement about how far you will go in relationships outside of the marriage," he says. For example, pre-emptively discuss how much you will open up to people outside of the relationship as a way to safeguard against affairs down the road, he suggests.

But remember that nothing is fail-safe, Van Epp says. Many people who stray do so from a relatively good relationship.

Praver adds that affairs don't necessarily mean a marriage is over. "An affair can bring about change," she says. "A partner may need more companionship; they often don't have affairs just for sex."

Reviewed on June 19, 2006

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