By Jennifer Benjamin
Miss that erotic charge you had when your love was brand-new? Reboot in
the bedroom with these tips for turning up the heat on your old flame.
Long-term love brings all sorts of advantages: a shared history with the guy
you love most, a partner who you know will always have your back, and a warm,
satisfying sexual connection that can only come from years of intimacy. Still,
as great as it is to know each other so well in bed, how could you not miss
that crackle and...
"He talked about his last girlfriend and how he gets picked
up all the time by women," says Ruth, a New York City-based e-commerce
executive. "He talked about how he loves to fly to Nice for the weekend and
then jump on a helicopter to Monaco."
Yet he didn't even spring for dinner.
"It was horrendous," she says. Obviously, there was no
Romance coach Paul A. Falzone, the CEO and founder of the Right
One and the Together Dating Service, isn't surprised.
"If it's 'I, I, I' or 'Me, Me, Me,' it's such a turnoff. If
you're doing well, good for you -- but keep it to yourself," he tells
A growing number of single and even married men and women seem
to crave such advice.
In an era where we hire coaches to help us organize our
closets, our finances, and just about every other aspect of our lives, it's no
wonder that a growing group of individuals, like Falzone, are making their
living as romance coaches.
The romance coaches offer tips on appearance, teach dating
etiquette, give e-feedback on dates gone wrong, and trouble-shoot for ongoing
problems. Falzone says such services can benefit "anybody who is trying to
get back out there and anyone who has been out there and is not
Falls Church, Va.-based executive romance coach Leslie Karsner,
author of The Long Distance Romance Guide and the forthcoming The
Romance Plan, has been coaching single and married folk for four years.
Her practice began when, as an executive coach, her clients
focused on romance issues. "These Fortune 500 executives would talk to me
about relationships, romance, or some aspects of their love life and I realized
that this is the area that is most important to people," says Karsner, also
the romance coach for U-date, an online meeting service, and the founder of
"I have clients that are therapists, Fortune 500
executives, housewives, homemakers, and retired 75-year-olds," says
Karsner, who is engaged. She works on an ad hoc basis for romance emergencies
or on an ongoing basis. One coaching session costs $95/hour, but when customers
buy three-month packages, they get a discount.
"My married clients are often looking to enhance their
marriage by getting to a place where they share their wants, needs, and
desires. For single clients, I am a confidant, a cheerleader, and often a kick
in the pants to get things going," she says.
"A lot of times, a client will come to me on the cusp of
getting out of a relationship that hasn't worked so they can build up the
strength to be single again," she says.