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Putting the 'Man' into 'Romance'

Keeping Love Alive

WebMD Feature

Moderator: Our guest is Michael Webb, theauthor of "The RoMANtic Guide." To say our guest is an expert onromance would be an understatement. He is editor and founder of The RoMANticNewsletter and TheRomantic.com Web site. His popular syndicated column,"The RoMANtic," is read worldwide by millions. He is also theofficial romance expert and spokesman for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'sLove2K Tour. Today, he's here to answer your questions about making romance adaily experience in your life, not just a once a year Valentine's blip on yourlove radar. So, let's get to the first question:

Question from Daisy: My husband has been traveling alot with his work lately. How can we keep the romance alive long-distance?

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Michael Webb : One thing I like to do when I'mtraveling is to get several of my wife's favorite childhood books or poetrybooks, and read to her each night for just a couple of minutes. In addition,someone who's traveling can try to pick up little mementos all throughout thetrip. It can be as simple as a matchbook from a restaurant, a business cardfrom a place you've visited, or a brochure. And when you get home you can takethe time through these small items to share memories about the trip.

Moderator: It's probably safe to say manypeople (especially men) intertwine romance and sex. How do we make romance anexpression of love and not an invitation to sex?

Michael Webb: Excellent question. In today'ssociety, there very much is that confusion, and I try to draw the line in mywork that romance should be completely unselfish. And sex by its nature isoften a selfish thing because you are trying to get something in return. Sowhen you are thinking about romance you need to completely think about thewarmth, needs, and desire of the other person -- and not be considering 'what'sin it for me? '

Moderator: Judging bythe title of your book, I would guess men need more romance advice than women.Why are guys so bad at being romantic?

Michael Webb: I think it's often the way we arebrought up. In today's society, 50% of us are probably coming from brokenfamilies, and the majority of that time we are living with our mothers. Sothere are very few romantic role models on the men's side. Therefore, bookslike mine and other material are often invaluable to men and women too, whodidn't grow up learning how to be romantic.

Moderator: It seems a daunting task to findnew ways to be romantic. How do you keep from feeling like you always have totop your last romantic gesture?

Michael Webb: When you don't think of romancein terms of size or money, then being romantic is no longer that sort ofchallenge to yourself. Romance is really made up of all the little things thatyou do.

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