Putting the 'Man' into 'Romance'
Keeping Love Alive
Moderator: For folks whose romantictendencies have been
dormant for a long while, suddenly doing overtly romanticthings on a daily
basis might prove jarring to them and their partners. How dowe 'ramp up' from
no romance to a daily dose?
Michael Webb: I get this sort of question a lot.Men
specifically have a fear that if they are all of a sudden -- if they
areuncaring and not very romantic, and then out of the blue they start
doingromantic gestures -- they have the fear that their spouse may start to
questionthe reasoning behind their actions. Did they break something? Are they
havingan affair? Does he really want something from me? But basically you just
haveto get over that fear. And once you keep that routine up they realize
thechange is real and the motivation behind it is sincere.
Moderator: A question received earlier: Iprefer to be
spontaneous. I feel planning my expressions of love make them seemartificial.
My partner is the exact opposite. Any tips for springing romanticgestures on
her that don't take a lot of planning, but seem well thought-out?
Michael Webb: There are hundreds of these ideasin the book.
Most of which take very little time and very little money toexecute. For
example, you can get a handful of flower petals, some confettithat you either
cut up or purchase at the dollar store, maybe a chocolate kissor two, put them
all on top of the ceiling fan and ask your sweetheart to turnit on and they'll
be showered with your loving expression. I like to use dryerase markers to draw
Valentines and loving messages on the bathroom mirror.It's simple, inexpensive,
but yet makes a world of difference in the way thatthe day plays out.
Moderator: You talk about romance all yearin all kinds of
interview settings. What's the question you hear the most?
Michael Webb: Boy! Probably it's 'are you onlypreaching to
men'? And in fact my material is for both men and women. Itdefinitely takes two
to tango. And women equally need to plan and provideromantic experiences in the
relationship. Often the men aren't being romantic becausethey're significant
other is not being romantic in return.
Moderator: Romance and kids go together likemonkeys and
peanut butter. How do parents of young children make romance a partof their
daily frantic lives?
Michael Webb: I believe the most importantthing you can do
for your children is not giving them a topnotch education, notspending a lot of
money on their clothes, and not having a house in the bestneighborhood. What is
the single most important thing to consider in rearing achild is to bring him
up in a loving family. So planning romantic events withyour loved one should be
of the highest priority.