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Putting the 'Man' into 'Romance'

Keeping Love Alive

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Moderator: For folks whose romantictendencies have been dormant for a long while, suddenly doing overtly romanticthings on a daily basis might prove jarring to them and their partners. How dowe 'ramp up' from no romance to a daily dose?

Michael Webb: I get this sort of question a lot.Men specifically have a fear that if they are all of a sudden -- if they areuncaring and not very romantic, and then out of the blue they start doingromantic gestures -- they have the fear that their spouse may start to questionthe reasoning behind their actions. Did they break something? Are they havingan affair? Does he really want something from me? But basically you just haveto get over that fear. And once you keep that routine up they realize thechange is real and the motivation behind it is sincere.

Moderator: A question received earlier: Iprefer to be spontaneous. I feel planning my expressions of love make them seemartificial. My partner is the exact opposite. Any tips for springing romanticgestures on her that don't take a lot of planning, but seem well thought-out?

Michael Webb: There are hundreds of these ideasin the book. Most of which take very little time and very little money toexecute. For example, you can get a handful of flower petals, some confettithat you either cut up or purchase at the dollar store, maybe a chocolate kissor two, put them all on top of the ceiling fan and ask your sweetheart to turnit on and they'll be showered with your loving expression. I like to use dryerase markers to draw Valentines and loving messages on the bathroom mirror.It's simple, inexpensive, but yet makes a world of difference in the way thatthe day plays out.

Moderator: You talk about romance all yearin all kinds of interview settings. What's the question you hear the most?

Michael Webb: Boy! Probably it's 'are you onlypreaching to men'? And in fact my material is for both men and women. Itdefinitely takes two to tango. And women equally need to plan and provideromantic experiences in the relationship. Often the men aren't being romantic becausethey're significant other is not being romantic in return.

Moderator: Romance and kids go together likemonkeys and peanut butter. How do parents of young children make romance a partof their daily frantic lives?

Michael Webb: I believe the most importantthing you can do for your children is not giving them a topnotch education, notspending a lot of money on their clothes, and not having a house in the bestneighborhood. What is the single most important thing to consider in rearing achild is to bring him up in a loving family. So planning romantic events withyour loved one should be of the highest priority.

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