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Health & Sex

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Putting the 'Man' into 'Romance'

Keeping Love Alive


Moderator: It seems a daunting task to findnew ways to be romantic. How do you keep from feeling like you always have totop your last romantic gesture?

Michael Webb: When you don't think of romancein terms of size or money, then being romantic is no longer that sort ofchallenge to yourself. Romance is really made up of all the little things thatyou do.

Moderator: For folks whose romantictendencies have been dormant for a long while, suddenly doing overtly romanticthings on a daily basis might prove jarring to them and their partners. How dowe 'ramp up' from no romance to a daily dose?

Michael Webb: I get this sort of question a lot.Men specifically have a fear that if they are all of a sudden -- if they areuncaring and not very romantic, and then out of the blue they start doingromantic gestures -- they have the fear that their spouse may start to questionthe reasoning behind their actions. Did they break something? Are they havingan affair? Does he really want something from me? But basically you just haveto get over that fear. And once you keep that routine up they realize thechange is real and the motivation behind it is sincere.

Moderator: A question received earlier: Iprefer to be spontaneous. I feel planning my expressions of love make them seemartificial. My partner is the exact opposite. Any tips for springing romanticgestures on her that don't take a lot of planning, but seem well thought-out?

Michael Webb: There are hundreds of these ideasin the book. Most of which take very little time and very little money toexecute. For example, you can get a handful of flower petals, some confettithat you either cut up or purchase at the dollar store, maybe a chocolate kissor two, put them all on top of the ceiling fan and ask your sweetheart to turnit on and they'll be showered with your loving expression. I like to use dryerase markers to draw Valentines and loving messages on the bathroom mirror.It's simple, inexpensive, but yet makes a world of difference in the way thatthe day plays out.

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