Putting the 'Man' into 'Romance'
Keeping Love Alive
Moderator: Especially for couples thathaven't been together
very long, one person's idea of romance may be perceivedas embarrassing,
suffocating, or even threatening by the other. How muchromance is too much? And
how do you gauge that for your own partner?
Michael Webb: You need to be aware of yourpartner's
reactions when you do something romantic. If they are somewhatho-hum, either
your approach was incorrect or they're not that needy in theromantic arena. But
statistically 95% of women can't get enough romance. Soit's that rare person
who feels overwhelmed by continual romantic gestures.
Moderator: Do you recommend romanticgestures on a first,
second, or third date? What's appropriate?
Michael Webb: Romance again has very little todo with sex.
So romance really is about letting the other person know that theyare special.
And of course, the degree to which you make that known isimportant. You don't
want to be giving the impression that you are deeply inlove with them if you
really don't even know them yet. But you can certainlylet them get the feeling
that you care about them.
Moderator: You mentioned that a very highpercentage of
women are insatiable romantics; here's a question about the guys:
Question from GIVEMEURLUV: Do most guys enjoy beingpampered
with flowers and love notes, or do they find that corny?
Michael Webb: Most guys, surprisingly, enjoygetting flowers
and love notes. Although not all of them would admit it toother men. But
perhaps one of the best romantic overtures for men is with food.
Moderator: Now you're talking!
Michael Webb: A special cake, their favoritebrownies,
recreating grandmother's lasagna recipe -- those sort of things arehighly
romantic for men. Because men really appreciate experiences more
Question from Lillie: Tastes and scents are recalledfor
Michael Webb: When you are planning romanticexperiences,
take consideration of the five senses. And the more senses thatyou can involve,
the greater chance that this romantic idea of yours will belong remembered and
Question from Bradcaskanette: So whatis the most romantic
thing for women?
Michael Webb: Again, each person is unique anddifferent,
and what I often advise men is to pay close attention to how their
sweetheartpampers herself. If she had an extra $75 and four hours what would
she do? Mostlikely, she would not buy herself lingerie, and probably not take
herself tothe baseball game. But she might go to the spa, she might buy herself
a coupleof her favorite CDs. She might go to an out-of-town bed-and-breakfast
for onenight just to get away. What is romantic for one woman could be
completelydifferent for another. But I believe that they all agree that the
little things-- the hugs, kisses, and notes -- are all romantic.
Moderator: What do you think of Valentine'sDay? Some people
feel like it sets up an expectation where if you don't go allout, you look bad,
rather than being an occasion for doing something positive.