By Hayley Krischer
The truth is out: You don't like some of your partner's friends. Maybe they're messy drunks who keep drawing your wife down their negative, drama-filled path. Or maybe they're self-admitting sexists who tell crass, demeaning jokes whenever you're around (jokes your husband laughs off). You’d like to draw a big X over these people's names, but your partner is completely loyal to them and gets defensive whenever you suggest that said people be phased out of your lives. “You don’t...
Traditional marriages still exist. But in the last half century, we've seen lots of changes: interracial and interfaith couples, gay and lesbian couples, and the older woman with the younger man -- a union that mirrors the older man-younger woman pairing.
Now, according to experts who spoke to WebMD, a 21st century union may involve a couple that falls in love at work, now that the office romance is losing its stigma. Or a couple might be in a commuter marriage, conducting their long-distance relationship through phone calls and web cams. Or an Indian engineer in Baltimore may log on to an Indian matrimonial site and find the woman of his dreams -- a dental student in Bangalore.
With powerful forces -- such as the Internet and a 24/7 work world -- exerting influence on our passions, surprising trends are springing up on the romance front.
Long-Distance Marriages on the Rise
In a landscape of dual careers, Internet romances, and globalization, the long-distance marriage is growing in numbers.
In the U.S., long-distance marriages increased by 23% between 2000 and 2005, according to census figures analyzed by the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships. In 2005, roughly 3.6 million married people in the U.S. lived apart for reasons other than marital discord, the center estimates.
On average, couples live 125 miles apart, but some dwell on separate continents. Some visit every weekend, others, every few months. But on average, long-distance couples see each other 1.5 times a month, according to center statistics.
Such pairs include the two married academics who love their jobs and have lived apart for more than a decade; the spouse who accepted a foreign job assignment but didn't want to uproot the family; the high-powered, dual-career couple constantly on the move to advance in their jobs.
Greg Guldner, MD, the center's director, knows about long-distance relationships firsthand. He was doing a medical residency in Southern California when he met his future wife on a trip to Phoenix. The couple survived four years in a two-state relationship before marrying. Guldner also wrote the book, Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide.