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The Secrets Couples Keep

How to Spill a Secret

Here's the smart and sensitive way to tell your guy what you've been hiding:

Make an appointment. Don't just spring it on him — say, "I have something important to discuss with you. Can we find an hour tonight to talk?"

Pick the right spot. Avoid spilling in a crowded public place, like a restaurant, or your bedroom, which should be reserved for positive experiences. Find a safe, neutral spot, like the den or a park.

Be prepared to apologize. "The big mistake is trying to make it seem as if the revelation is no big deal," says marriage counselor Mira Kirshenbaum. "You need to say, 'I'm sorry, there's something I should have told you a long time ago, but I was ashamed to tell you. I hope you'll forgive me.'"

Enlist a third party. A major reveal works best with a referee. Recruit a friend you both trust — or in the case of the biggest bombshells, such as an affair, a marriage counselor.

*Names have been changed.

 

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