By Lindsey Palmer Can taking a break from making love actually improve your sex life? Sex therapist and REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., proposes just that in his new book, Sex Detox. Here, Kerner explains how it works:
Getting caught during a delicate moment, whether you’re solo or with a partner, is common.
“It’s best to address your embarrassment head-on,” says Carole Lieberman, MD, a psychiatrist in Beverly Hills. A light response can work wonders -- something like, “Oh, I thought I was going to have some private time here,” or, “We thought we were alone.”
Get caught by your kids? “Young children, in particular, may interpret sexual situations as Mommy and Daddy fighting, so it’s important to quickly let your child know that you are playing,” says Lieberman. Older children are more clued into what’s going on and respond better to, "We were showing our love for each other, and you'll understand better when you grow up.”
Your Partner Has a Fetish
If your partner makes a freaky request, ask yourself: Are you ashamed to do it? Is it unsafe? If the answer is no to both, “it’s worthwhile to be open-minded and willing to try it,” Lieberman says.
Before you start, discuss what it is you don’t like about the idea, and consider having a "safe word" that lets your partner know it’s time to stop. Knowing you can call a halt when you want to may even help you enjoy it.