6 Truths About Marriage No One Ever Tells You
The top surprises couples face after they say “I do.”
A good marriage isn’t a guarantee of happiness .
After the excitement of setting up house and getting married, Michelle says, she was surprised to feel the same old frustrations.
"I was still unhappy with my job and still had the same stresses and emotional baggage," she says. "I didn't realize that even with a relationship that made me happy, I had to continue working on the other parts of my life. Being in love and having someone's love didn't make my problems go away."
Aron says that people are sometimes dissatisfied with their marriage when the real problem is that they’re depressed or have other problems in their life.
If you’re unhappy in your relationship, it makes sense to look at how the rest of your life is going. Aron says, "You can always find excuses in what the other person is doing if you’re feeling bad."
You’ll be surprised what you get through together.
"The fact that we've survived so many challenging situations and somehow move on to others is something that continues to surprise me," Patrick, a 37-year-old Vermont dad who has been married for six years, says. "We’ve been through some really tough situations, like being in medical school and having a baby at the same time."
Getting through a particularly tough situation together can put things in perspective, says marriage and family therapist David Halper, co-owner of CenterLife Counseling.
"When a big issue like a serious illness arises, couples often realize that their disagreements that seemed so important are really trivial," Halper says. "This renewed perspective can be the catalyst for a more positive, intentional relationship focused on what the couple truly values."