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Wanna Feel Sexier?

The Art of Seduction

Your Personal Top 10 List continued...


Write down other assets -- Nice eyes? Easy smile? Great voice? Ask your friends to validate the list. Step back, look it over, and you're likely to say, "Hmm ... not bad."


While you're still in that mood, scan your 10-best-things-about-me list and figure out how to emphasize your assets. If you're especially tall, take a Pilates class to perfect your posture. If you've got knockout eyes, experiment with new makeup, get your bangs away from them, and, if you wear "Coke-bottle" glasses, consider trading them in for contact lenses.


"If you don't think you're fabulous, nobody else is likely to think so either," she says. "Your body language will convey how you feel about yourself."

Assets and Deficits

I can't help it. I'm a masochist. I've got to ask: What am I doing right, and -- God help me -- where am I failing miserably?


"I find you very attractive," Biggs tells me. (Call me totally insecure, but I enjoy hearing this.) "You're friendly and warm, you talk easily, and you listen, which is key.


"But ..." (Here it comes!) "... if I were forced to find something wrong with you ..." (Who's forcing?) "... you might consider having fewer dark undertones in your hair ..." (Note to self: Book emergency highlight appointment.) "... and perhaps wearing some blush and eye shadow, to emphasize your eyes. On the other hand, you've got a great body and good arms." (Roots be damned! Biggs is my new best friend.) "Lots of women wear clothes that aren't appropriate for their shape, but you look great."

Keeping Some Perspective

I'm still contemplating the effects my bad hair and buffed biceps could be having on my sexpot status, but Biggs' next comment instantly snaps me out of it.


"You can't be sexy if you're not fully present," she says. "When you're with another person and your only concern is what they're thinking about you, you send out a message that nobody's home. You need to stay inside yourself and your experience. Ask yourself, 'Do I like what I see? Do I like the way this person is responding to me?' "


This, she says, is the key to honest communication, a skill that ranks way ahead of a smoldering look or a collagen-plumped pucker on the sexiness scale.

Trial Run

High on insight, I can't wait to test my new seduction skills. When my husband comes home, I greet him in a slinky little slip dress he loves (instead of the workout attire I'm usually wearing when he gets home) and plant a long, steamy kiss on his mouth, demonstrating my new-found sexiness.


Ignoring his questioning stare, I lead him into the dining room, listening to every word he says and then pointing him to a decadent array of snacks.


As I slide a sliver of avocado into his mouth, I casually mention another activity I have in mind for the evening. He's clearly surprised by my boldness and asks if I've been drinking. I shrug innocently and insist that sometimes I just can't keep my hands off of him.


I look him right in the eye, smiling, as I say this, and suddenly feel like I'm the sexiest woman on the block. He doesn't say another word -- and he doesn't need to.


Note to self: Practice new skills often.


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