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What You're Really Doing in Bed


WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine

Redbook Magazine Logo

What's really going on in other couples' bedrooms? We were dying to know, and we knew you were, too. So we got the scoop from more than 2,500 women in our redbookmag.com sex survey. Read on for the no-holds-barred results (and a few sexy ideas you might want to try!).

What's the Frequency?
Overall, most of you are pretty pleased with your sex lives -- of those who currently have a partner, 64% rate your satisfaction level 3 or 4 out of 5, and 14% say it's a thrilling, couldn't-be-better 5. But as happy as you are, you'd still like more. A hefty majority (65%) of you wish you were having sex more often -- nearly a quarter say a lot more often -- while only 4% would like to have sex less often. The number one reason you're not getting it on as often as you'd like? You're too tired, say 46% of you. Women with children under 18 at home are also worried about the kids seeing or hearing (19%).

How Often Do You Have Sex?
35% Once or twice a week.
5% Once a day -- at least!
25% Three to six times a week.
19% Two or three times a month.
10% Once a month or less.
6% I don't have a sex partner right now.

How Often Would You Like to Have Sex?
43% Three to six times a week.
24% Every day.
26% Once or twice a week.
5% Two or three times a month.
2% Once a month or less.

You Tell Us.... What's the main thing keeping you from having more sex?

"My husband is an early bird and I am a night owl. He crashes out around the same time our three kids go to bed, and I end up staying up doing housework and paperwork. If only I could get him to take a nap when he comes home from work!" -- Kath, 42

"I work full-time, I'm married, and I have a 1-year-old son. At the end of the day I am tired, and all I want to do is get the baby to bed so I can take a relaxing shower or bath and go to bed!" -- Lisa, 24

"I'd love to be having more sex, but I'm ashamed to say I don't like my body right now." -- Michelle, 34

"There just aren't enough hours in a day to take care of work, the house, the pets, the daughter, and the husband. (Notice how he comes last!)" -- Kathy, 42

"I think it's resentment from working all day and then coming home to dishes, meals, laundry, homework help...." -- Paula, 35

"My boyfriend is always too tired or not into it. I thought it was the girl who got out of it by complaining that she was tired, not the guy!" -- Jill, 25

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