What You're Really Doing in Bed
Men Answer Your Secret Sex Question: Do you care how great the sex is, or
are you just happy you're having sex?
The men we asked were pretty evenly divided on this question -- after all,
quality and quantity both have their benefits. One guy summed it up well:
"When you're married, you already have that strong sexual connection with
someone, so sex is guaranteed to be good. Quantity -- maintaining and keeping
that connection -- becomes more important." -- Todd, 36
You Tell Us.... How has being married affected your sex life?
"Being married is great, but it does set up some bad habits. Sex can
become mechanical. You tend to get too comfortable. The romance sometimes heads
south. My husband tends to focus only on two areas -- Honk! Honk! here and Rub!
Rub! there." -- Michelle, 34
"Marriage has only made my sex life better. I feel so safe and
comfortable with him that it makes it easier for me to experiment and try more
things." -- Kellie, 34
"I have much more sex now than when I was single -- and more orgasms!
Especially since I turned 40, they have gotten so much longer and more
intense." -- Holly, 44
"It takes more work sometimes to keep it hot, but in the end it's worth
it not to have to worry about the who, what, where, when, and why of dating.
And most of all, to know that I'm cherished and that we're in it together for
the long haul." -- Julie, 39
Who Wants Sex More?
So much for the myth that men are always up for action -- about a third of
you say that your guy wants sex more than you do, but nearly a quarter of those
in relationships say that you're the one who wants it more often. Don't take it
personally -- often, it has nothing to do with you or your relationship.
"For men, self-esteem and sexual desire are intimately connected," says
REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of He Comes
Next. "Low desire may simply be work- or stress-related."