Marriage Makeover: "2 Jobs, 2 Kids — Where Does Our Marriage Fit In?"
EXPERT ADVICE: "I could tell Meghan and Jeremy until the cows come home that they should both work less to make more time for intimacy. But they're both driven people, and that's okay. They can still find ways to reconnect. First, they should simply try going to bed at the same time each night and snuggling. I know Meghan isn't a cuddler, but five minutes is doable. It will give them that physical closeness they need to recharge their relationship batteries. And if one of them does want more, be direct. Jeremy could say, 'If you're up for it, I'd love to.' Even if Meghan isn't, he's put his wish on her radar. And Meghan should make sure to follow through by planning to have a sex date soon — in the morning, tomorrow night, or on the weekend. There's nothing wrong with scheduling sex in the short term; just avoid making it 'every Tuesday,' which puts too much pressure on the relationship and can squash desire. Besides snuggling, they could send each other emails that say, 'I'm looking forward to coming home.' It doesn't have to be big. It only takes two seconds to say, 'I love you.' Or, 'I'm so glad I married you.' When you speak from the heart, these statements are powerful and can change the color of your day."
JEREMY: "I like how Dr. Greer was cognizant of the realities of our lives. She didn't try to tell us to work or do less. I think we both want to try the five-minute snuggle thing. Who can argue with five minutes? But I'm not sure I'll be able to say that something is bothering me and then wait to discuss it at a better time. It's a good idea, but in the heat of the moment, you want to talk right then."
MEGHAN: "I can see the value in having a standing morning meeting about our relationship. It's totally true that in the morning you feel refreshed and ready to work things out. We tried to do a Sunday-night meeting, but we were too anxious for the week ahead, and it didn't stick. But on a Saturday morning, we'll have the energy to open up about our relationship and set ourselves up for a great weekend. I liked the five-minute thing, too. It gives me hope that if we plant this little seed of time together, it will grow into something bigger between us."