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    Your Love Life

    WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine

    By Nicole Yorio
    Redbook Magazine Logo
    Boost your love connection in the New Year and beyond.

    The Secret to Lifelong Love

    Want to break-proof your bond? Learning how to forgive may be the most important skill for a loving and lasting relationship, says Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Love. "Forgiveness means more than letting frustrations roll off your shoulders — it involves creating a habit of leaving the past in the past, genuinely seeing the good in your partner, and moving forward with a clean slate," Luskin says. "If you hold on to what went wrong, resentment builds up and can eventually poison the relationship." Taking yourself out of a self-pitying victim mind-set is a powerful first step toward forgiveness. When that voice in your head asks, Why does he do this to me? think instead, I hate what he did, but I love him enough that this is not going to get in my way. By keeping your eye on the big picture, you'll remember that your partner is only human — and after all, so are you.

    Romance Resolutions

    Instead of resolving to eat better or get organized in the New Year, why not commit to creating a harmonious love life? Make one of these vows today:

    1. I will cook his favorite meal for no reason, even if it involves unholy amounts of sausage.
    2. I will put his coffee mug in the dishwasher — every $%@# morning, if necessary — without mumbling evil things under my breath.
    3. I will not keep score of the number of nights he's watched his favorite shows versus the number of nights I've watched mine.
    4. I will bust out the nice lingerie I haven't worn since our honeymoon.
    5. I will listen without interrupting — even when I know that I am right.
    6. I will not yell at him for hogging the bathroom for 15 minutes when I plan on using it for the next hour.
    7. I will find at least one thing to thank him for every single day.


    Married folks apologize twice as often as those who are single, divorced, or separated — even if they feel they're not to blame, says a Zogby poll of 7,590 adults. Maybe love really means always saying you're sorry.

    Originally published on December 11, 2007

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