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Nip Infidelity in the Bud
Think cheating is something that can never happen to your relationship?
Think again.
Statistics from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy suggest that 15% of wives and 25% of husbands have had sex outside of their marriage. When emotional affairs or sexual intimacies without intercourse are included, the number jumps by 20%.
But straying is not inevitable, no matter how many soap operas you watch, says Frances Cohen Praver, PhD, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in Locust Valley, N.Y., and the author of Daring Wives: Insight into Women's Desires for Extramarital Affairs.
"For the most part, people don't just go out and cheat. There are warnings," she tells WebMD. The good news is that knowing the common signs and addressing them head-on can save your relationship from infidelity.
Red Flag No. 1: Crying Out for Help
"The most common warning is when a partner tells you something is amiss and you don't believe it," Praver says. "He or she may say, 'This marriage isn't working,' or 'I am not happy.'"
Marriage Saving Solution: Taking the Bait
"This is akin to being hit over the head with a 2 X 4," Praver says. "If your partner is reaching out, take the bait," she says. "First open up a dialogue, and if you can't get anywhere, consider couples therapy."
Red Flag No. 2: Sudden Change -- or Interest -- in Appearance.
Is your husband talking about getting botox to eliminate his frown lines? Did your wife recently start coloring her hair and scrapping her jeans for a low-cut black dress? If so, this may indicate he or she is on the prowl, experts say.
Marriage Saving Solution: If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them
"This can make you bitter or better," says John Van Epp, PhD, a therapist in Medina, Ohio and author of the forthcoming How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: the foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind.
"If they are going through changes and you are fairly certain no one else is involved, this is an opportunity," he says. "Join in and spice up your relationship."
Red Flag No. 3: Unconstructive Criticism
"If your partner says, 'You need to see a psychiatrist,' 'You need help,' 'Get a job,' 'Lose weight,' or 'Go to the gym,' and is constantly critical, it's all part of the same theme -- which is that there is something wrong with you," points out Elizabeth Landers of Gross Pointe, Mich., co-author of THE SCRIPT: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat.
"Unconsciously, they are setting it up to say their partner was nuts and wouldn't even go for help." Another tip-off is when he or she starts picking fights about something you are good at, so you fight back and then he or she calls you argumentative," she says. "These things happen 100% of the time."
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Health & Sex Guide
VIVELLE-DOT (estradiol transdermal system) IS AVAILABLE BY PRESCRPTION ONLY.
INDICATION
Vivelle-Dot is used after menopause to: reduce moderate to severe hot flashes; treat moderate to severe dryness, itching and burning in or around the vagina; help reduce your chances of getting osteoporosis (thin weak bones); and treat certain conditions in which a young woman's ovaries do not produce enough estrogens naturally. Vivelle-Dot 0.025 mg/day is only used to prevent osteoporosis from menopause. If you use Vivelle-Dot only to treat your dryness, itching, and burning in and around your vagina or if you use Vivelle-Dot only to prevent osteoporosis from menopause, talk with your healthcare professional about whether a different treatment or medicine without estrogens might be better for you.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
Estrogens increase the chances of getting cancer of the uterus (womb). Report any unusual vaginal bleeding right away while you are taking estrogens. Vaginal bleeding after menopause may be a warning sign of cancer of the uterus (womb).
Do not use estrogens with or without progestins to prevent heart disease, heart attacks, or strokes. Using estrogens with or without progestins may increase your chances of getting heart attacks, strokes, breast cancer, and blood clots. Using estrogens with progestins may increase your risk of dementia (decline in memory and thinking skills).
Vivelle-Dot should not be used if you have unusual vaginal bleeding; currently have or have had certain cancers, including cancer of the breast or uterus; had a stroke or heart attack in the recent past (for example, in the past year); currently have or have had blood clots; currently have or have had liver problems; or think you may be, or know that you are, pregnant.
The most common side effects that may occur with Vivelle-Dot are headache, breast tenderness, and back pain.
You and your healthcare professional should talk regularly about whether you still need treatment with Vivelle-Dot.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
Please see Full Prescribing Information for Vivelle-Dot.
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