Love's Not Only Good for the Soul

Feb. 14, 2001 -- Love not only makes the world go around, but it also keeps us healthy and helps us recover when we get sick.

Sociologist Linda Waite, PhD, looked at 18 years of data on 5,000 families nationwide. "The health advantages of being married are huge for men and substantial for women," she tells WebMD.

"Here's one way to describe the advantages of marriage: When you look at 100 married men aged 48 years, the data suggest 90 out of 100 will still be alive at 65. In comparison, only 60 out of 100 never-married or divorced men would make it to that age," Waite says. "When we look at 100 married women aged 48, 90 out of 100 would reach age 65, while 80 out of 100 divorced and never-married women would reach that age." Waite, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, is co-author of the book The Case For Marriage.

Why are the benefits of a relationship so much greater for men? "Single men often live unhealthy lives, eating fast food and drinking too much," Waite speculates. "Having a wife who cooks you dinner and makes sure you get a good night's sleep does seem to impact long-term mortality rates."

In addition, Waite says, there's evidence that being in a closely bonded relationship improves physical functioning. "You come home at night, you're someplace safe, and your stress levels go down. You have emotional support, someone who's rooting for you."

Donna Odierna can testify to the benefits of a long-term intimate relationship. The 46-year-old nutritionist and health educator from Oakland, Calif., has had abdominal surgery twice, and her partner, Lisa, played an important role in her recovery. "The first time, we weren't living together yet, but she flew cross-country to be with me," Odierna recalls. "It was so important because I didn't have to carry the whole burden myself: Someone else was watching over me. When someone special cooks you chicken soup, you can feel the good wishes in each mouthful. It's not the caretaking that matters so much as the caring."

While a loving, intimate relationship brings a unique flavor to our lives, other long-term social connections also help us stay healthy.

"There's a good deal of research showing that people who have strong, enduring social support have better health outcomes," says Frank Baker, PhD, vice president for behavioral research at the national office of the American Cancer Society in Atlanta. "Friends and relatives are important because they help you deal with the adversities of life; you're likely to have better health and be happier. Someone who doesn't currently have that personal social support may want to join groups designed to help with specific health problems, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or cancer support groups."