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    What Does It Take to Lift Your Sex Life to the Next Level?

    HIS VASECTOMY

    Tenna Perry, 47, dog breeder and groomer
    Dave Perry, 47, scheduler in an electric plant
    Browns, IL

    TENNA: Pregnancy has never been easy for me. With each of my three kids, I had to go on bed rest. I’ve actually gotten pregnant twice while on the Pill — both of those pregnancies ended in miscarriage. So during sex, I always worried about getting pregnant again. When I was pregnant with Will, our youngest, I thought about getting my tubes tied, but Dave suggested that he get a vasectomy instead. He said if anyone was going to be in pain, he wanted it to be him. Dave’s choice was such a powerful statement of love in my eyes. As for how it changed our sex life? Simple — it made us able to enjoy sex any time, any place, without worry. And the fact that Dave volunteered for it was a turn-on too. We’ve been married for more than 20 years and we still enjoy each other sexually, and never hesitate to show it. My oldest says, "Ugh! Get a room!"

    A DISHWASHER

    Thembisa Mshaka, 36, copy director, author, and voice-over actor
    Anthony Tmor Morris, 36, real estate broker
    Brooklyn, NY

    THEMBISA: Four years ago, my husband and I were on the brink of divorce. Today, we are beyond happy and can’t keep our hands off each other. And we owe it all to our state-of-the-art Bosch dishwasher.

    Doing the dishes used to be a major source of conflict. Because Tmor is a food snob, he does all the cooking and won’t allow me to help. While I’ve always enjoyed his signature gumbo, his intricate salads, his chicken-and-pineapple surprise, I didn’t enjoy how he’d dirty every pot, bowl, and measuring cup we owned, then invoke the “cooks don’t clean” rule. I hate washing dishes. It takes me back to my childhood, when I was the one who had to clean up after my siblings.

    So I’d beg — literally cry — for compromise. We’d agree to split the dishes, but after about two nights, he’d silently shirk dish duty or flat-out refuse to participate. We’d have these terrible fights about dishes that bled into other areas of our relationship — including our sex life. Sex had never been great for Tmor and me. When we met, I was inexperienced and he’d had many girlfriends. I was constantly playing catch-up and he was frustrated. The nightly battle over the dishes made our shaky sexual chemistry nonexistent. Things came to a head when we moved from California to New York. We had a three-week standoff where neither of us washed a single dish. Our kitchen was disgusting, and we ended up having to throw away most of our kitchenware.

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