Three years ago, singer Sheryl Crow, 47, suffered a painful (and public) breakup with her fiance, cyclist and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong, just weeks before receiving her own breast cancer diagnosis. Forced to nurture herself as she mended a broken heart and recovering body, the Grammy Award-winning superstar examined how she was living life and decided to make some changes.
“In a way, it was a wonderful life-shifter,” Crow tells WebMD of her daunting ordeal. The tough times helped launch the Missouri-born musician on her own winding road toward motherhood, inner peace, and good health. Here, Crow shares the most important lessons she learned along the way:
By Lori Gottlieb
Remember the scene at the end of the first Sex and the City movie, when the fabulous foursome was sitting down to cocktails? Samantha had just left Smith, her gorgeous, adoring boyfriend — whom she loved and who had lovingly supported her through breast cancer — because "I love myself more." That's right: She dumped a keeper using what was arguably the most idiotic grrrl-power proclamation in the history of chick flicks (and there's some formidable competition there). And how did...
1. Learn how to say no. “I’m not nearly so hard on myself anymore,” she tells WebMD. “I’ve learned to stop putting everybody before myself, and to say ‘no’ sometimes, which was a huge lesson for me. I think women get caught up in that, forgetting about their own needs.” Even with an international, bicoastal tour she’s just wrapped, Crow claims she does “only what I want to do” these days, and that “for every 10 requests I get now, I might say ‘yes’ to one.”
2. Get a second opinion. After a routine mammogram revealed “suspect” calcifications in both of her breasts, a radiologist suggested she return for another mammogram in six months’ time to take a second look. Her ob-gyn, however, urged immediate biopsies. “Thank goodness I listened to [my doctor],” Crow says, “because my cancer was caught in the earliest stages. I am the poster child for early detection.”
3. Give yourself permission. Having cancer “woke me up,” Crow says. “I was no longer dulled out.” After staring down her own mortality, the singer knew it was time to build the family she’d always wanted, and on her own terms. But first she had to heal; she needed time to rebound from a broken heart and ailing body. “I didn’t go out much,” she tells WebMD. “I took care of myself, and I learned the only way to get through grief is to grieve, and to experience those emotions. I would tell people when I needed space, if I needed them to run an errand for me. And I allowed myself to sleep as much as I wanted to, and to do absolutely nothing ... and I let myself feel everything.”
4. Look within. “As Westerners, we try to stay busy. We say: ‘Just don’t think about it, get on with things.’” To slow herself down, Crow started a new habit: meditating. “For me, meditating is tantamount to quieting the brain.” Crow says that the practice of sitting with oneself in silence helped her get those rough months, and that she continues the practice now, every day.