Jan. 22, 2001 -- "Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married that Wanda started gettin' abused She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses And makeup to cover a bruise Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce She let the law take it from there But Earl walked right through that restraining order And put her in intensive care."
By Ann Hodgman
One woman's diary
I said to my daughter, "You know what I just can't stand about this
book? The long passages with no dialogue." -
She paused, then said, "Mom, are there any books you like
Now it was my turn to pause. How could she ask that, when everyone knows how
much I love to read? But then again, when had I last complimented a book — even
one I admired? Come to think of it, how often did I say anything without a
negative twist? I don't want my tombstone...
Reactions vary to the Dixie Chicks' controversial song "Good-bye Earl," in which an abused wife and her friend kill an abusive husband. Some women can relate all too well. Others, young and old, have a hard time understanding why a woman would stay with a man who beats her.
"It is kind of stupid to stay with someone who would hurt you, because it could be dangerous," says Terri, a 13-year-old Dixie Chicks fan and seventh grader in Philadelphia.
"Until you stand in their shoes, one won't understand the choices available or not available to them," says Maryadele Revoy, a public education specialist at the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence based in Harrisburg, Pa. "Adults [and teens] have the same questions and may not fully understand the delicate dynamics."
Yet young teens like Terri soon may learn in school about dating and domestic violence. A new trend is emerging in state and federally funded programs that combat violence against women: They are starting earlier -- in middle school -- targeting students as young as 12.
Girls are being taught to demand respect in their early dating relationships, while boys are learning to improve communication skills to avoid becoming abusers. Experts believe these efforts will have a long-term impact, eventually reducing rates of intimate partner violence. But since most of these programs are so new, no one knows for sure.
The term "intimate partner violence" is replacing "domestic violence," which has grown to include elder abuse and child abuse, while failing to encompass victims of same-sex violence. The CDC defines this as "intentional emotional and/or physical abuse by a spouse, ex-spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend, or date."
According to the National Violence Against Women Survey released in July 2000 by the National Institute of Justice and the CDC, intimate partner violence is a serious public health concern, with nearly one in four women questioned saying they were raped, physically assaulted, or stalked by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Based on the survey results, experts estimate that 4.8 million intimate partner rapes and physical assaults are perpetrated against women annually, with more than 10% resulting in injuries serious enough for the women to seek medical treatment.
"Adolescents don't have the same protective factors as adults, and are at even greater risk for violence," says Abigail Sims, the In Touch with Teens program coordinator at the Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women, one of the earliest programs to address teen dating violence. "The girls don't fit a profile. They are not weak, submissive girls. Sometimes they even hit back."