Feed Your Soul
At the end of five minutes, I asked her how she felt. She said she was
relieved, immediately calmer. She said that since she'd had her baby, she had
forgotten all about herself and her needs, and while some of that was natural
("I'm so in love with him," she said; "I've never known love like
this before"), she was not serving him best by exhausting herself. She said
that caring for herself was doable — maybe not in the same ways she did before
she was a mother, but in new ways. Taking small rests. Eating well. Going
outside for even five minutes while he naps. "I can do this," she said.
"I can treat myself with the same kind of care that I give him."
"Now you're talking," I said. "And the better you take care of
yourself, the more he will know as he grows up that it's fine for him to take
care of himself, too."
If you operate on what you believe a good mother/partner/friend would do and
you leave yourself — what you need, how you feel — out of the equation, your
relationships will suffer.
I'm here to tell you that cherishing yourself by making yourself a priority
in your own life is possible. You can take care of your needs and your
relationships with family and friends can thrive. I know, because I am making
this my daily practice, and I am confident I will not go out either alone or
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