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How to Get Your Sexy Back

Sexiness isn't something you just turn on and off. You have to cultivate it, get in touch with your body. Once you tap in to your sensuality, a great sex life -- and a positive new outlook -- are just around the corner.

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10. Buy new underthings. Throw away those ripped, faded, you've-had-them-for-four-years granny panties and invest in some new underwear. The sexier, the better — but G-strings aren't required. New bikinis, boy shorts, or even basic briefs can make you feel special.

11. Stop worrying. When you're focused on worry, the last thing on your mind is feeling sexy, says Louann Brizendine, the author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain. Pinpoint what's bothering you and try to set it aside. Write down your concerns and tuck them away. Or distract yourself from a problem that's weighing on you by concentrating on a crossword or Sudoku puzzle. And for Pete's sake, stop stressing over your thighs or your tummy pooch. He's (really, truly, absolutely) not thinking about it, so why are you?

12. Breathe. Mindful breaths enhance and reinforce the mind-body connection, says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., the founder of mypleasure.com. For a few minutes each morning, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Clear your thoughts and focus on being calm. When you're relaxed, it's easier to get in touch with your inner sexiness.

13. Look in the mirror. From the onset of puberty, we're taught to scrutinize every imperfection of our bodies. Instead, give yourself a reaffirming reality check by doing the opposite. Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror and focus on the things you really love about yourself: your strong thighs, shiny hair, or full, sexy chest.

14. Turn off the iPhone. And the TV. And your laptop. Life's distractions keep you from being fully in touch with yourself, never mind anyone else, Brizendine says. Unplug for a few minutes each day so you can plug in to what's important: you. Focus on just one activity — reading a book or having a snack. Tuning out from the world helps make you a priority, which in turn reminds you just how lovable you are.

15. Move your hips. Not a good dancer? Fake it! Turn on your favorite tunes and just let go. "When you move your entire body to a beat, you start to love how it feels and embrace what your body can do," says Vanessa Isaac, the creator of Hip Brazil Dance and Fitness. "Awakening your inner rhythm awakens your sensuality."

16. Create a kid-free zone. Nothing kills sensuality like a room full of Tinker Toys, diaper bags, and crayon-drawn art. Have a space in your house that's adult-only so you can focus on yourself. "For us, that's the bedroom," says Erica Smith, a San Francisco mom of two. "It has nothing kid-oriented in it. No toys, no pictures of their adorable faces. It's an environment for us as lovers, instead of Mom and Dad."

17. Change it up. Take an art class. Or book a last-minute weekend getaway. "Novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac," Gardos says. Switch up your routine to create spontaneity. "When you do something out of the ordinary, you're taking yourself off of autopilot, which creates excitement in your life," he says. "Excitement is always sexy."

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