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Jennifer Love Hewitt Dishes Dating Advice in 'The Day I Shot Cupid'

In her new book, the 'Ghost Whisperer' star tackles the dos and don'ts of online flirting, setting boundaries, and healthy romance.

Love Unplugged: The Pitfalls of Online Romance continued...

Amen, Sister, says psychotherapist and relationship expert Tina Tessina, PhD, LMFT. "Texting can become your entire relationship. Is that what you really want?" she asks. Tessina, author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again and The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40, says that, for some couples, the option to text, Facebook, and Skype each other has its advantages -- but you have to be a couple first.

Instead of all the gadgetry, focus on the face-to-face relationship. "You can't force it, but it's a red flag if he won't see you in person," Tessina says. "Be really careful not to let the relationship become all instant messaging and Facebook and email. It's a pretend relationship unless there's real face-to-face stuff going on -- and not just booty calls!"

Another downside of the online age: It can make you paranoid. Tessina says there's nothing wrong with Googling the guy you've just started dating to get the inside scoop. (Is he telling the truth about that hot multimedia company he founded?) But you need to practice discipline in using all the technology tools at your fingertips.

"It used to be you'd go home from a date and, if you were excited to see the guy again, you had to resist calling him too soon," Hewitt says. "Now it's not just 'I won't call.' It's 'I won't text, I won't check his Facebook status or send him a Facebook message, I won't check his Twitter feed.' It's too much. Seriously, technology has messed dating up royally."

Knowing When to Leave a Relationship

Perhaps the worst mistake women make, Hewitt says, is getting caught up in a fantasy. "Reality is so important. It's not as much fun and doesn't feel nearly as good, but fantasy isn't going to take you anyplace real."

Tessina says Hewitt's advice is on the mark. "We're really good at talking ourselves into wanting what we have instead of waiting for what we deserve," she says. "One good way to get out of that: Get this person around your friends. They won't have the investment you have, so they can see more clearly, and they'll tell you if he doesn't seem right to them somehow."

Hewitt admits that she herself has often made the love-life mistake of not knowing when to get out. "When it's not right, you feel it. You know it. Not enough people -- women in particular -- trust their gut. The only person you hurt by staying in a relationship that's over is you," she says. "That's when you really have to say, 'Life is short. Do I want to spend it unhappy, or do I want to spend it full and happy, even if that means looking at the riches in my life not as the man next to me, but my girlfriends, my home, my health?'"

This is not to say that Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn't still believe in romance. You can hear the smile in her voice when she talks about one of her most memorable dates. "I think the best dates are the ones that go all over the place. One time I went and ended up cleaning the Plaza Hotel at three in the morning. Really! It sounded like a fun, goofy, romantic comedy thing to do. We went in and I was like, 'Hi, can I vacuum?' We had a great conversation while we were doing something silly. So if you're ever at the Plaza Hotel, check out how clean the ballrooms are!"

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