How can you defend yourself against domestic violence?
April 24, 2000 (Portland, Ore.) -- Carey Draeger was 19 when she met her future husband. After only two months of dating, the two decided to get married. Not long after their honeymoon, Draeger was introduced to a side of her new husband she never saw before. "It started with emotional and verbal abuse, with him saying things like I was lucky he stayed with me or that nobody else would want me," she says. Soon, it wasn't unusual for him to be breaking and throwing things during their arguments.
For two years this behavior continued until their daughter was born, and then the emotional abuse and fighting intensified. Over the next three years, the abuse turned physical when Draeger's husband punched her during an argument. That was the final straw: She convinced her husband to move out and leave her alone. "I still don't know how I was able to get him to leave peacefully. I was very lucky."
By Meryl Davids Landau
When you were in your 20s and 30s, you probably ignored random aches or other minor physical annoyances, and they usually went away. But now those symptoms can come back — often with a different cause, and calling for more serious attention.
If only every woman in an abusive relationship were as lucky as Draeger. Many attempt to ride out these disastrous relationships, enduring years of abuse. In fact, a 1997 report from the U.S. Department of Justice found that more than one in three women who sought treatment in the emergency room were there as a result of injuries caused by domestic violence. All those dislocated shoulders, bruised jaws, and broken fingers are not the result of a slippery stairwell or a particularly vigorous roughhousing session with the kids.
And many more women probably suffer in silence. Bruises aren't the only signs of abuse: The Family Violence Prevention Fund defines domestic abuse as any pattern of assaultive or coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partners -- male or female. While most abusers are male, they can also be female. The bottom line is that anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of gender.
The report found that a woman is more likely to be injured from a domestic violence incident than from car accidents, rapes, or muggings combined. A woman is much more likely to be killed by a current or former romantic partner than by a stranger.