Period 101

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RENNE SIMPSON
OK girls, it's that time.

Leak week, the crimson tide, riding the cotton pony.

OK, I can't say this.

Can I just say period?

Because that's what this is.

Girls, we have to deal with this every month.

So if that makes you want to cry, scream, or just eat ice cream to rom-coms all day, well, trust me, you are not alone.

Consider this little chat Period 101.

OK, for starters, your menstrual cycle is usually a 28-day process.

If you're not completely regular and your cycle is a little longer or shorter, don't worry about it.

It's normal.

This is the process where your body is literally shedding the lining of your uterus.

Bleeding can last for three to seven days.

It's usually about four tablespoons of blood.

I know, it always seems like way more.

Keep track of your cycle, meaning the day you start each month, and how long it lasts.

This is a very helpful record that your doctor can use.

And, there's an app for that.

As if bleeding was not enough, you're going to experience some or all of these symptoms at some point-- moodiness, depression, abdominal cramping, bloating, food cravings, headaches, muscle aches, boobie tenderness, fatigue, acne-- man, it is tough to be a woman!

So here are the down and dirty basics.

Know your options.

As colorful and fun as they want to make sanitary products, they all serve the same purpose, to keep you leak-free.

Keep a stash in your purse and in your car.

You never know when you might be in need, and that is not exactly one of life's best surprises.

Pad, or a sanitary napkin.

It sticks right inside your underwear to catch the flow.

And I have a secret.

Back in the day, women used to fold old strips of rags as their version of a pad, which is where the term "on the rag" comes from.

And then we have the tampon.

A tampon is a cylindrical material that is literally inserted straight into your vagina.

The word origin actually translates into "plug," and that's exactly what it does.

Tampons go all the way back to ancient times.

Romans would use wool.

That sounds scratchy.

I guess we have it pretty good.

And also, I know this comes up sometimes, but I promise, just because it's being inserted vaginally, it doesn't mean you've had sex.

Your virginity is still intact.

So just know, if you've had any leakage in your undies, because we all do at some point, do not use hot water as it will set the stain.

Use cold water and soap as soon as possible.

That'll get most of the stain out.

And then throw it in the washing machine.

Here are some tricks of the trade.

Use a heating pad or take warm baths.

The warmth will relax your muscles and ease those cramps.

Fill up on bananas.

Bananas have potassium, which is great for cramps.

There are also over-the-counter medications to ease the pain.

You can't slow down or delay the process, or at least it's not been proven yet, so just let it flow.

Think of this process as a monthly reminder of your femininity.

And that's all I have to say about periods, well, period.