How Husbands Can Help at Home
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NarratorHow can I talk my husband into helping me around the house?
Patricia Farrell, PhDI think the first thing I'd learn is how to ask open ended questions. Not questions that can be answered yes or no. What about the house might we be able to do differently? Or, I really need your help. What do you think you can do? I don't expect you to give up everything, like your Sunday golf game with the guys, or whatever, but what can you do, because I'm feeling overwhelmed. I need your help. If he won't listen, I wonder why? What's happened? If he will begin to have a dialog, that's a start.
Patricia Farrell, PhD (cont.)Maybe you can set some time aside after the kids are in bed, if you don't have kids, sit down before the TV goes on, sit down and talk about your day and how it went and what the problems were that you had and how maybe you could use a little help. I don't care if it's a man or a woman. Both of you need help, and you deserve help.
Patricia Farrell, PhD (cont.)I think the best relationships and everybody wants a good relationship are relationships that are giving and understanding and have the most important thing going for them and that's communication, open, honest, communication. If I need help, I expect you to love and respect me enough to give that help. You may not be able to give as much as I might need, but at least you will help.
Patricia Farrell, PhD (cont.)It doesn't matter if you're a man, or if you're a woman. You know I've heard husbands say to their wives, I don't want to go to work everyday, but I do it. You know, I don't want to do certain things, but I do them. Would you help me? I feel terrible about it. Listen. Listen to each other, and the two of you come up with ways that you can turn things a little bit. It may not be dramatically different for both of you, but at least it's a step in that direction. Love, respect and communication.
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