[MUSIC PLAYING]SPEAKER: A relative of minehad advanced breast cancera number of years ago.I started researching, workingwith cancer patients.I work with some support groupsand learnabout the different typesof cancer.There were so many women whoneeded assistance.I just fell in love with workingwith them.
I'm Karen Whitehead.I'm a therapist, coach,and advocate for womenwith advanced breast cancerand other life-limitingillnesses.Advanced breast canceris a really unique groupof women.They often get throwninto groups for anyonewith breast cancer or groupsfor anyonewith an advanced cancer.And they don't really fitin either one.
Support groups for womenwith breast cancertend to havea transitioning population.They finish treatment, they'redone, they integratethis experienceinto their lives,and then for the most part,move on.With advanced cancer whathappens is these women are neverdone with treatment.They're in treatmentfor the rest of their lives.
And a lot of peopledon't understand that.So they'll get the question,well, when will you be done?Well, never.We talk about hard things.We talk about how to havea good death and what that meansand how to advocate for that--not only with your medical team,but with your family.Often, families and friendsdon't want to hear that.They'll say, be positive.
These women are still beingpositive, but they're alsorealistic.And when we can plan aheadfor a good death-- whichincludes living our lives--then everything else gets somuch easier.We talk a lot about howto advocate in a coupleof different ways--accept, align, ask,and advocate.
How do we accept the realityof our situation?It doesn't mean that we haveto like it, but we do haveto accept where we are and havean understanding of what's goingon in order to make educateddecisions.Then we need to alignwith our goals and valuesfor treatment and for livingour life.Then asking for support--who do you ask?How do you ask?And then advocate-- how do youspeak up for what you need?
Raising the bar for womenwith advanced breastcancer is reallyabout educating.They want people to knowthat they're still alive.They're not dying today.They're raising families.They're on the PTA.They're playing tennis.They're traveling.They're enjoying their liveswhile they're dealingwith this condition.
Whether we're talkingabout breast canceror any other type of cancer--they're not all the same.Continuing to educatethe public, advocating for moreresearch for advanced breastcancer.They need people spreadingthe word that this is somethingyou can thrive with.These women just-- they impactme so much every day.The sense of urgency that theylive with is something that Ireally try to live my life by.
We all think we're going to liveforever.We try not to think about death.But when we can thinkabout death, when we can planfor a good death, we don't haveto think about it anymore.We can just live our livesto the fullest of our abilityand get what we want outof our lives.And that's a gift that they giveme every day.