Why You Can't Spoil a Baby

Month 10, Week 2

Research shows that babies whose needs are met quickly as infants actually become more secure and confident and less whiny as children.

So if your mother or best friend tells you you're spoiling your baby by picking her up, rest assured you're doing your best for her.

  • Work with her on helping her learn to soothe herself with a blanket or other favorite object.
  • Rock together for awhile in the rocking chair, then urge her to play on her own.
  • Even if you are accustomed to picking up your baby quickly when she cries, if you're upset and frustrated, it's okay to take a few minutes apart while she's in a crib or other safe environment. Calmer parent equals calmer baby.
  • Remember: Babies this young can't remember rules. So you'll have to repeat yourself often and try to stick to a routine in the coming months.
  • Babies may still be wary of strangers or new environments, so expect to do lots of reassuring that everything is OK.

Your Baby's Development This Week

Your little one is busy testing you these days, trying out new behaviors to see what your response will be.

She's not "being bad." She's trying to figure out what the limits are in this world of hers, and she learns through exploration and interaction with that world.

Instead of getting frustrated, set her up for success:

  • Don't expect a 10-month-old to resist temptation. Instead, put tantalizing but forbidden items out of her reach, and offer safe places to explore, like her kitchen cupboard with plastic spoons, cups, and bowls.
  • Try not to say no all the time. Instead, pull her away from the radiator with "Hot! Owie!" and a dramatic face.
  • When she grabs at your coffee cup, say "Mama's cup," then hand her her own sippy and say, "Olivia's cup!"
  • Focus on what you want her to do rather than the no-nos.

Month 10, Week 2 Tips

  • Teach your child's caregivers the words your child uses for important things like blanket or bottle. Does she sign? Make sure they know that.
  • Stick to a regular bedtime routine. Knowing she'll get her bath, then her pajamas, then her story and her song helps her understand her world and builds confidence.
  • Use routines and games to make everyday activities, like a trip to the store, interesting and engaging for your little one.
  • Flying with baby? You can bring more than 3 ounces of formula, breast milk, or juice through security if you declare it to security and present it for inspection.
  • To go through security screening at the airport, you will have to take your baby out of her stroller or infant carrier (yes, even if it's just a cloth wrap).
  • The FAA lets kids younger than 2 be "lap babies" (not for free, though), but it's safest to buy your baby her own seat and secure her in a safety seat.
  • If your baby has had an ear infection or ear surgery within the last two weeks, talk to your doctor before flying.
WebMD Medical Reference Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on March 20, 2020



University of Nebraska-Lincoln: "Is Your Baby Teasing You?"

University of Minnesota Extension: "Are You Spoiling Your Baby?"

Zero to Three: "Choosing Quality Child Care."

Zero to Three: "Building Self-Control: Birth to 12 Months."

Zero to Three: "Social-Emotional Development from Birth to Three."

Zero to Three: "Love, Learning and Routines."

Transportation Security Administration: "Traveling with Children."

American Academy of Pediatrics: "Travel Safety Tips."

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