Teigen first shared that she and her husband, John Legend, had lost their unborn baby, Jack, in late September. “We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” the model and cookbook author wrote on Instagram. “Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.”
Now, a month later, Teigen details how she lost her son and how that loss has affected her family. “It feels right to begin with a thank you,” she writes. “Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘you probably won’t read this, but…’. I can assure you, I did.”
Teigen says that she was 20 weeks pregnant when she was told the baby wouldn’t make it. She had previously been diagnosed with partial placenta abruption, and hoped it would heal while she was on bed rest. “I had always had placenta problems,” she explains. “I had to deliver Miles a month early because his stomach wasn’t getting enough food from my placenta. But this was my first abruption.”
A placenta abruption occurs when the placenta separates from the inner wall of the uterus before birth. It can cause the baby to be cut off from oxygen and nutrients and may cause heavy bleeding in the mother.
After more than a month of taking it easy, Teigen knew something was wrong. She says she started to bleed more and more, and had a suspicious ultrasound. “After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming -- it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.”
She details her heart-wrenching grief, knowing that she was about to lose her son. “I cried a little at first, then went into full-blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness,” she writes. “Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
Teigen goes on to brush off fans who criticized her for sharing photos of her family with Jack, after the miscarriage. “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos,” she writes. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like.”
A miscarriage is typically defined as the loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists estimates that as many as 26% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, which would make it the most common form of pregnancy loss.
Teigen says she hopes more women will share their stories of loss in the future -- and is urging people to be kind to them when they do. “Please be kind to those pouring their hearts out. Be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all.”