I'm the Other Woman

By Lisa Ling

Lisa Ling journeys to the secret world of polygamy - it's not what you think.

What if your husband came to you and said, "I want another wife?" Even though polygamy is illegal in America, experts say there are 30,000 to 50,000 people living in plural families across the country.

For most people, the word polygamy conjures up images of child brides dressed straight out of the 1800s. On September 25, 2007, this stereotype was further reinforced when polygamist sect leader Warren Jeffs was convicted of being an accomplice to the rape of a 14-year-old girl. Yet the isolated, cult-like communities only tell half the story. The other side shows extravagant homes in typical suburban neighborhoods filled with willing wives and dozens of children. What is life really like in a polygamist community? Lisa Ling investigates the changing face of plural families and explores communities that both make and break the stereotypes.

Valerie considers herself a typical soccer mom - except her husband has two other wives and a total of 22 children in the house. She is her husband's third wife and has eight children. By sharing her story, Valerie hopes to show a different side of the polygamist lifestyle. "My hope is to change some of those stereotypes, break the stereotypes that people have - that it's oppressive and abusive to women and children, that we're all living in these cults and being brainwashed. I don't live like that. I live in just a little suburban neighborhood, and my children go to public school. I feel like we have a very normal lifestyle."

At the same time, Valerie says a plural family is not always easy. "It can be hard when a wife goes out the door with your husband," Valerie says. "We have had jealousies, and there have been those times, and we can't sugarcoat it and say that, 'Oh, it's so perfect and we love it and we love everyone.' You know, we all have our hard times just like any other people."

Ali and Vicki, the two other wives in Valerie's family, stayed at home during The Oprah Show taping because Vicki was expecting her seventh baby, bringing the house total to 22 children. Ali is not only the first wife in the family - she is also Valerie's twin sister. "We have a really good system where we work together with one another," Valerie says.

With 22 children to look after, Valerie and the other wives rely on each other for support. "It's a lot of managing and everything like that. All of our children are in sports or music, and so we get this big calendar and we say, 'Okay, I've got music lessons this day' and 'Can you take the kids while I go to soccer this day,' and it just kind of works."