Whether you're bouncing back after a divorce, or recovering from the death
of your life partner, returning to the dating scene is never easy.
Indeed, from the challenge of meeting someone new, to wondering if he'll
call again, to those inevitable questions about sex and intimacy, the prospect
of getting back in the groove can seem downright daunting.
"I tell my kids, a locked door in the morning means Mom and Dad are having
time together. And sometimes my husband and I schedule to take time off when
the kids are at school just to share some special moments; then we really steam
things up!" — A.L., 46, Columbus, NJ
"When my son was young, he hated naps, so we'd let him play in his room while
Mom and Dad 'took a nap.' He never knew what we really did." — J.Y., 53,
"My husband and I set our alarm early and make love before...
The important thing to remember, however, is that almost every woman shares
at least some of that same anxiety. Moreover, if you do want to start dating
again, you won't have to look far to find companionship!
According to the online dating company, Match.com, baby boomers are its
fastest-growing group of members. Indeed, many in this age group are divorced,
single, or widowed, and now find themselves back out on the dating scene for
the first time in years.
Now, if you have a happy and fulfilling life without dating, you shouldn't
feel pressured into a social scene that's not right for you. At the same time,
if you're craving adult companionship and maybe even a little romance, don't be
shy about filling those needs -- and the dating world is an excellent place to
To help you along the way, WebMD offers these tips from the experts on how
to get started.
Adult Dating: Taking the Plunge
You've decided you want to try dating -- now what? How do you meet
eligible people? Should you try online dating or do it the old-fashioned way,
finding dates through friends and acquaintances?
San Francisco psychologist Jonathan Rosenfeld points out that dating is a
numbers game: You're probably going to have to meet a lot of people before you
find someone you really like. "If you are a busy adult with work you're
committed to, and children at home, then you have to make dating efficient,"
Rosenfeld says. "And there is no more efficient vehicle than the Internet."
"Remember that you are looking for a good fit, not validation," Rosenfeld
continues. "Many people make the mistake of putting out a generic profile that
will attract a lot of people. But if you do that, you're going to attract a lot
of people who aren't a good fit, and that can be exhausting - and
Instead, says Rosenfeld, when you are creating your online profile, "Avoid
generic likes and dislikes, like walking on the beach," he says. "Don't be
strident or negative, but don't hesitate to state strong beliefs. Don't be shy
about saying who you are. You may get fewer responses, but you're likely to be
more compatible with the people who respond."
Whether you're dating online or not, it can't hurt to also let friends,
family members, and acquaintances know that you're available and want to meet
people. There is no guarantee that you are going to like your sister-in-law's
newly divorced first cousin, of course, but the connection ensures that your
date is not a complete unknown.