Get Ready -- Baby's on the Way!
Whether it's your first child or a new sibling for other children, there's so much to think about and get done. We help you sort through the to-do list.
Baby's on the way and you're seeing the doctor, taking your
prenatal vitamins, and getting the nursery ready. Fine, so far. But don't
overlook the fact that having a baby -- whether it's your first, your second,
or even your fifth -- is going to have a profound effect on your life and the
lives of those around you.
"It's a huge change," says Claire Lerner, LCSW, child
development specialist at ZERO TO THREE, a national nonprofit organization
devoted to promoting healthy development in a child's early years.
"Having a baby is life-altering," Lerner continues,
adding that it's important for parents (especially first-timers) to know this
ahead of time. Otherwise, she says, they can be thrown for a loop when they're
confronted with feelings of insecurity, jealousy, being left out, or
"Anticipate the feelings that most new parents
experience," says Lerner. Moms, for example, are frequently exhausted and
overwhelmed, and can feel that "nobody does it better," so they have to
do everything themselves. Dads might feel that they can't do anything right,
and have no place in the newborn's life. This may be especially true if the
mother is breastfeeding, says Lerner, who suggests that mom use a breast pump
so that dad can feed the baby, or have dad sit with mom and baby during feeding
times, perhaps even singing or reading to the infant.
Brainstorm before the child is born, says Lerner, to come up
with ways of coping with the situations that are bound to arise once the baby
has arrived. "If you see this as an opportunity to become closer, and not
an obstacle that is going to drive you apart, you'll be able to minimize the
sense of aloneness that many new parents feel," says Lerner. "Try to
feel what the other parent may be feeling, and then figure out ways together to
deal with those feelings."
No matter how much a couple wishes for a baby and feels that
their life is in order, the reality is always a major challenge, adds Mary
Margaret Gottesman, PhD, RN, CPNP, president of the National Association of
Pediatric Nurse Practitioners.