Single Mom Diaries: And Baby Makes Two
We all grew up believing the fairy tale: You meet Mr. Right and soon after, start having kids. But what if he never comes along? What if things don't go as planned and time starts running out? Meet the new breed of single mom.
I GOT PREGNANT BY MY TRAINER
By Kimberly Forrest
You know that old saw about jumping on a plane at a moment's notice? That was me. Positano. Kyoto. Istanbul. Paris. It might sound like an oxymoron, but a sense of freedom has been my life's organizing principle. I've developed a solid reputation as a freelance fashion writer, making a good living and working out of my rent-stabilized apartment in New York City's West Village. I'd often find myself thinking, What more could I want?
In the fall of 2006, I'd just gotten out of a serious relationship and turned 40, and I thought that casual might be just the thing. (Read: I was scared to feel anything poignant and lovely and painful again.) Enter Luis, my kickboxing instructor. He was young and exciting, and after dancing in the ring for months, we started dating. Our fling was lighthearted and fun — he joined me at a spa for New Year's, and in March we went to a wedding in Brazil. The trip was gorgeous, but by that time our relationship was on the wane.
Fast-forward a month-and-a-half, and my period is late. We'd used protection, but clearly not carefully enough. I take back-to-back pregnancy tests at the home of my friend Jean — they're both positive. She yelps with joy while I, stricken, squeeze limes for a watermelon margarita.
Until now, my idea of a time line for having kids had been, "Maybe in 10 years." But I'm 41 and filled with fibroids. I have endometriosis and survived a bout of thyroid cancer in my 20s. What are the chances of ever conceiving again? I take a teeny sip of the margarita and, without thinking twice, know that I am going to have the baby, with or without Luis.
The next day, Luis stops by my apartment, and I tell him I'm pregnant before he closes the door. He sinks into the sofa. "I don't want to get married," he says.