Childhood Fears and Anxieties
Experts describe how parents can help when their child is afraid.
Things that go bump in the night. The bane of Miss Muffet's existence. A teacher's harsh rebuke. What do they all have in common? Plenty: They're all typical childhood anxieties and fears.
Nothing to worry (too much) about. But try telling that to your child! As a parent, you can make a big difference in how well your child handles common worries like these. Here are a few ideas that may help.
The Many Sides of a Child's Fears
Not all fear is bad. In fact, a little fear serves as an insurance policy. "Without fear, we'd jump headlong into things we shouldn't," says Tamar E. Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Your Child from Anxiety. Chansky is also director of the Children's Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, Pa.
Some fear is evolutionary in nature, says Chansky. For example, many children -- and adults -- continue to fear things outside their experience. Their brains are wired to protect them from snakes, for example, even though the average person rarely encounters a slithery serpent, venomous or not.
Some children experience anxiety disorders, often a strong emotional response to an intense experience. But mostly, a child's fears are a predictable rite of passage.
Common Childhood Anxieties and Fears
Your child's "anxiety landscape" changes over time. Here are some of the most common childhood anxieties he or she is likely to experience at different stages of development.
Fears of an Infant or Toddler
- Loud noises or sudden movements
- Large looming objects
- Changes in the house
Fears During Preschool Years
- The dark
- Noises at night
- Monsters and ghosts
- Animals such as dogs
Fears During School Years
- Snakes and spiders
- Storms and natural disasters
- Being home alone
- Fear of a teacher who's angry
- Scary news or TV shows
- Injury, illness, doctors, shots, or death
- Fear of failure and rejection
Easing Fears in Infants or Toddlers
In the ideal situation, an infant's world is framed by parental security and a sense of calm. Anything that disrupts that -- a loud noise or a stranger, for example -- creates fear, says Chansky. One simple thing you can do to maintain calm is to establish a predictable routine. Also, minimize the numbers of caretakers in your child's life. Strong bonding with your child -- through regular touch, eye contact, and talking or singing -- creates a foundation of trust, helping to inoculate your child against future anxiety, too.