Chores for Children

It's Saturday morning and time to start thinking about those dreaded household chores. But your 5-year-old is glued to the television, your middle-schooler is texting friends, and your teen is howling at the latest, coolest YouTube video. Scrubbing the toilet is not exactly a big draw. And do any of them really care how many layers of dust have collected on the coffee table?

What's a parent to do?

Dividing household chores and getting them done isn't always easy. But there are ways to make chores, well, a little bit less of a chore. Think of it as one-part attitude and one-part approach.

Read on for some tips to guide you.

The Value of Chores for Children

Most experts agree that chores are good for children. For instance, parenting expert and author Jim Fay calls chores for children essential. Here's why: In addition to our needs for physical and emotional safety, love and affection, and healthy amounts of control, he says, we also all need to be needed. That's because we're pack animals by nature.

"If your child never has to raise a finger, that basic need has been stolen away," says Fay, co-founder of the parenting philosophy found at the web site loveandlogic.com. "Children need to feel as though they're a cog in the wheel. But they can't feel that way if they don't have chores and make contributions to the family."

In her book, Raising Compassionate, Courageous Children in a Violent World, Janice Cohn, PhD, cites studies showing that helping others not only promotes higher self-esteem, but increases academic and social skills while decreasing the risk for depression and anxiety disorders.

Elizabeth Pantley, author of eight parenting books, including Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging, and Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate, identifies still more benefits to be derived from chores for children:

• Chores are one of the best ways to build a feeling of competence.
• Chores help children understand what needs to be done to run a household.
• Chores establish helpful habits and good attitudes about work.
• Chores teach real-world skills and valuable lessons about life, easing the transition into adulthood.

According to Roger W. McIntire, PhD, author of Raising Good Kids in Tough Times, "A child has to have some responsibilities. Then by the time they go off to college, you don't have to have a three-hour lecture on the steps of the dormitory."

A professor of psychology at the University of Maryland for 32 years, McIntire witnessed firsthand how a lack of responsibility could influence college students' behavior. As associate dean, one of his jobs was to interview students who had decided to drop out. It turned out that those who were living at home and had all college expenses paid by their parents were one of the highest-risk groups. McIntire theorized that many of these kids felt they had nothing to lose by dropping out. For them, the maxim "nothing ventured, nothing gained" apparently morphed into "nothing invested, nothing lost."