Skip to content

    Health & Parenting

    Font Size
    A
    A
    A

    When All Else Fails, Parent With Humor

    Parenting works best with jokes, playfulness, and cooperation -- not threats and demands.
    By
    WebMD Magazine - Feature
    Reviewed by Renee A. Alli, MD

    When it comes to parenting, it’s funny how humor can motivate children when more negative tactics do not. Jane Marie Scarboro’s 3-year-old son, Teddy, had been lagging behind on their family hike. And the Lafayette, CA, mother of two had felt herself getting annoyed. But then she switched tactics. Obviously, her best parenting skills were called for. So rather than snapping “Come here right now!” she called “I’m going to get you! I’m going to catch you,” then jokingly hoisted Teddy and tossed him up and down as she carried him back up the trail toward the rest of the group. Soon both mother and son were laughing.

    Take it from this mom: Keeping it light when it comes to parenting works. “Being playful keeps it from turning into a contest of wills,” Scarboro says.

    Parenting guru Jane Nelsen, author of dozens of books, including Positive Discipline and, with H. Stephen Glenn, Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World, says humor is a key tool to successful discipline. “Humor takes us to a whole different level of consciousness,” Nelsen says. Humor helps break the negative mood not just for children, but for grown-ups, too. “It helps parents get themselves out of a reactive state,” Nelsen explains. When moms or dads issue angry commands, kids of all ages tend to dig in their heels and resist. And no one benefits.

    Playfulness, Not Parenting Power Plays

    For toddlers, that might mean distractions such as tickling or chasing. Animating stuffed toys is a common strategy. Parents are a lot more likely to be successful if the stuffed monkey says, “It’s time to brush your teeth! Watch me brush mine!” “Pretty soon they’re laughing,” Nelsen says, “and then you say, ‘OK, let’s go do this.’”

    Instead of working against each other, parents and children can use humor to work together toward the shared goal. “You’re taking it out of ‘I’m going to make you do it’ and turning it into ‘Let’s do this together,’” Nelsen says, recalling a father who broke the tension when his children argued by making believe he was a reporter interviewing them.

    Today on WebMD

    Girl holding up card with BMI written
    Is your child at a healthy weight?
    toddler climbing
    What happens in your child’s second year.
     
    father and son with laundry basket
    Get your kids to help around the house.
    boy frowning at brocolli
    Tips for dealing with mealtime mayhem
     
    mother and daughter talking
    Tool
    child brushing his teeth
    Slideshow
     
    Sipping hot tea
    Article
    boy drinking from cereal bowl
    Article
     
    hand holding a cell phone
    Article
    rl with friends
    fitSlideshow
     
    girl being bullied
    Article
    Child with adhd
    Slideshow