Preventing Temper Tantrums in Children
You're standing in the snack aisle of the supermarket. Lying by your feet is your toddler, who has just been informed (by you) that no, she cannot have the Cinderella fruit snacks. Her face has turned a shade somewhere between red and purple. Her fists are pounding the floor in fury as she emits a shriek that can be heard in the farthest reaches of the parking lot. The other shoppers are gaping at this spectacle as you wish desperately for a hole to open in the floor and swallow you up.
Many a parent has witnessed a scenario such as this one, although the tantrum itself might have taken a slightly different form; crying, hitting, kicking, stomping, throwing things, and breath holding are all popular tantrum techniques.
Temper tantrums are exceedingly common in children, especially between ages 1 and 4 (the early part of which is sometimes labeled the "terrible 2s") when kids are still learning how to communicate effectively. More than half of young children will have one or more tantrums a week as they vent their frustrations and try to push back against a world they want desperately to have some control over.
Though they are a normal part of the toddler repertoire, temper tantrums can be distressing to parents. When they occur infrequently, tantrums aren't a big deal. It's when they become regular or intense that parents need to look into what's causing them and find ways to stop them.
Temper Tantrum Triggers
Some children are more prone to having tantrums, particularly kids who are intense, hyperactive, moody, or who don't adapt well to new environments. For most toddlers, tantrums are simply a way to get out their frustration and test limits (Will Mommy buy me that toy if I scream really loud?)
The smallest things can set off young children, from asking them to take a bath while they're in the middle of watching Sesame Street to requesting that they share a favorite stuffed animal with a younger sibling. Any situation that involves change may spawn a tantrum, including getting ready for school, having to leave a fun activity, or getting into disputes with other children. Add fatigue or hunger to the equation, and children are even more likely to throw a tantrum.
How to Stop the Screaming
The easiest way to stop a temper tantrum is to give the child what he or she wants. Obviously, that strategy won't do you any good in the long run, because your child will constantly go into tantrum mode whenever he wants something.
The first step in diffusing a temper tantrum is to keep your own temper in check. You're not going to get anywhere with your child if both of you are screaming at each other. Spanking your child is also not a good option, and it will only make the tantrum worse. Take a deep breath, gain control over your emotions, and then discipline your child by calmly but firmly letting her know that tantrums are not acceptable behavior.
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